Last night was unbelievably cold but it did not bother me much since I have a good set of thick pajamas here at Gran’s house. I was able to sleep soundly too because the temperature in my room’s just cozy enough to lull me to sleep. I haven’t turned off my notebook P33chy to sleep for the night because I listened to him all night or he volunteered to sing for me all night until he got tired. I woke up having to hear the long beep sound of P33chy telling me that he needs to be plugged into the electric socket because he’s already hungry. I had my usual corn flakes and koko crunch and mile breakfast and decided to do my laundry even if the sun’s not up. I was half-hoping I’d be able to see Mr. Sun this afternoon but as of this writing, I don’t think my wish will be granted for today. While I was doing my laundry, I heard loud sounds that come from outside of the house. Gran heard it too and she told me that the cross country movers just arrived to drop off the things for our new neighbors. I checked it out while looking through the glass window and I was quite impressed with their furniture. I saw couches that seem to be cozy enough for a cat to sleep on and other things I haven’t seen while I did my window shopping at some home depot at the mall. Well, so much for drooling over some other people’s things—-I needed to get back to my laundry. Oh Mr. Sun, please shine down on us.

Recently, I have been spending so much chatting time with Veejay, other friends, and this new MIX FM DJ. Chatting consumes almost half of my time and work only gets a fraction of the whole time I spend in front of P33chy. Aside from this, Facebook applications such as The GodFather, Friends for Sale, and School of Wizardry takes up the rest of my internet time. I also am checking my Gmail account almost every minute too. Only transactions such as money wiring and some other little businesses makes me a lot busier than usual. Because of this routine, I always sleep late. I usually wake up between 6:30am-8:00am, depending upon the weather. If it’s rainy or cloudy, then I wake up around eight o’clock. If it’s too warm and sunny outside, I get up from bed 6:30am or even earlier. In my case here in Davao, it’s always warm and sunny during mornings, so I always get up from bed early. This makes me gain dark circles around my eyes, sleepy in the middle of the day, and lazy in the afternoons. This is alarming because I really need to get fit before December comes for other personal reasons. So today, I resolved to myself that I will stay away in front of P33chy when midnight strikes…or even an hour before that. I say it again, I need to get fit.

Maybe it’s because of the too much consumption of ice cream that made us impulsively decide to go the ends of Davao City to check on where we will have our annual year-end camp and activity in the church’s youth ministry. We haven’t brought our digital cameras, our left-over snacks, and even outfits that suits the travel and trekking mode. We were all in our church clothes! An hour passed, we were still enjoying the sharing of stories so we won’t get bored. Half an hour later, Swit laughed on the black smoke that the van’s exhausting. We just didn’t mind and thought that it’s because the van’s already old and that we don’t expect it to be smoke-free. Only a couple of minutes later, we realized that Dad is trying to park the van. Smoke is everywhere. The best part is—we’re in front of a small sari-sari store which is full of snacks and coke products. Still we were lucky. Dad and the other older folks tried to figure out what’s wrong with the van. They found out that the oil leaked and we should be calling for rescue. We’re 54 kilometers away from downtown and there’s no way we can find a vehicle to cater us all to the heart of the city. The plan to visit the mountain resorts was now being postponed until we get the van repaired and checked. We started hiking towards the town’s main land so we can find a good eatery and a place where we can all sit. We walked and walked until our feet sored. Walked even further until we reached that certain place. Little did we know, we walked for more than four kilometers just to get to this “oasis”. Alas! there’s food! Two hours later, our rescue jeepney came. We went home safe, sound, and tired.

I still can’t get over the things that happened over the very long weekend. B.E.P.’s I’ve Got a Feeling is still ringing in my ears. I must really miss my friends who came over for the church’s festival. Those faces are the faces that give me comfort and fun….and those faces too make my world crazier in a good way.

Obet, Chang, Mari, Seabee, Kevin, Pipoy, Sai, Ayana, Moning, and Marmie stayed here in Lola’s house for the whole time they were here. Just imagine the happy noise they added to this big house and when they all left, Lola’s world and mine suddenly became very silent. That’s why I am really missing all of them now. Plus, I’ve met a new friend. Her name’s Model and she’s very nice, pretty, and smart. She even gave me a spongebob pillow before going home…and I felt rather special. >.<
I want to meet all of them soon. We’re planning on trekking the Philippines’ second highest peak: Mt. Kitanglad in Bukidnon this December. If you want to come with me, drop a comment here!:)

I didn’t know I have the capability of feeling an intense jealousy until you were born. Six years before you came, I was the only sweetheart in the family. Dad especially loved me very much because I was the only daughter then. Within those six years, I have felt all the love I could ever wish for in the whole world, and suddenly you came. While Mom was bearing you inside her tummy, I was very jealous when she almost shut herself out from all of us because you are a delinquent fetus. I don’t exactly remember what kind of abnormality that was—-all I remember is that your umbilical cord has been coiled tightly around your neck: one wrong turn will kill you. I was scared upon hearing it from Dad. He told me you are a girl and I should pray fervently if I wanted to have a sister. I didn’t want a sister, but because Mom will get lonely if you will be gone, I prayed hard then but not for you.

Six years before you came, I always wake up feeling grumpy and looking for Dad or Mom. One grumpy morning, I woke up without Dad or Mom around. I was even more pissed when I saw the Nanny sleeping beside me instead of our parents. Kuya told me you were already born. I felt the intense jealousy again. Hours later, Dad came and gathered Kuya, Bombet, and me. He brought us to the park, then to Jollibee. After all the play, Dad announced about you being born. Dad then hugged me and told me that I already have a sister to play with. He hugged me tight as he told me that he made us share the same second name, Belle. Kuya is very much excited to meet you, while Bombet and I might be feeling the same jealousy. Days later, you arrived at the house. Everyone’s there to meet you. Suddenly, you became everybody’s darling and I was left out.

Heaven knows how hard I treated you all these years. We were not friends then. I have always been an antagonist to you. I was an evil sister.

You grew up pretty and cheerful. None of my friends at summer camp knows about you until your first encampment. Everyone asked me why I haven’t told them about my pretty and charming sister. I then realized I was either too selfish or too proud of myself that’s why I haven’t mentioned you to them.

Months after that summer camp, I realized you were something different. I began looking at you not as somebody who took away something that belonged to me six years before you were born, but somebody who I can be friends with. I suddenly realized that you have grown up to be a wonderful person and I should be proud because we share the same genes, and the same second name. I suddenly realized that I love you and I was evil to you. I’m sorry it took me long to accept you. I’m sorry for all the traumatic things you might have experienced because of me.

You are a good sister and I think you’ve waited too long for me. You are very patient and obedient.

I didn’t even know you have been looking up to me all this time. All along, I thought you were trying to mess up with my memories after seeing you peeking through my personal diary and letterboxes. I was so enraged with you when I saw you doing all the same things I enjoy doing. Mom said it was because of the weird music video and lip synching I made ages ago that made the camwhore that you are today. Mom said you have been following me like a shadow since the beginning of time. Mom showed me something that proved her statements.
This.

sisters

I didn’t know you were my biggest fan. I love you, my sister. Happy Birthday.

PS
Notice the picture. My face is all grumpy because Dad’s supposed to take a solo picture of me playing the piano, but little sister doesn’t want to go away. Look at little sister’s amused face. Look at the different and opposite emotions we exhibited. haha.

*Note: I am not an evil sister to her anymore. We sort of clicked already. Good thing, it wasn’t too late yet for the both of us. She had to wait for 16 years until she was finally accepted to share a room with me. She still keeps my room clean and all, that’s why I love her all the more.

For many, Christmas is the best season of the year. Wala ng kaplastikan—alam ko namang excited lang kayo sa exchange gifts at kainan! But for a person like me who isn’t used in celebrating Christmas like the whole world does, I haven’t developed the feeling of being excited about it. Yes, sometimes I get that happy feeling, but not like all the others. Anyway, Christmas is not merely celebrating about the season, right? It is about being glad that Jesus has been sent to save us from eternal damnation.

Today, somebody greeted me “Merry Christmas”. The greeting was very alive that it almost knocked me off my feet. This has been the first time that I have set my eyes on this person on a whole new point of view. I have been seeing this person on a regular basis, but it was only today that I have actually “looked” at him. Okay, it’s a him. So what is it about his “Merry Christmas” greeting that popped all the confetti? Well, I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I needed a cheerful smile today that I treated his greeting differently. It was like a hug. It was like a pat on the back. It was..uhmmm..er… comforting. He suddenly joked about giving him my over-sized black shirt I am wearing and I suddenly joked about getting half naked if he wants the shirt very badly.

So he likes black shirts, especially those with Bob Marley colors on it.

Gee. I have a new crush now. I bet this is going to be a Merry Christmas after all.

(looks like I am looking forward to Christmas now, ayt?^__^)

“Mental Block” is a common term used by students who need the quicker way to escape from humiliation caused by failing an oral recitation, long and short quizzes, and worse, quarterly examinations. It is also a term used in the same manner by fresh college graduates who happen to flunk a job interview. Also, it widely used by employees and free lancers to cover up a huge mistake in doing their jobs and projects. If this is being used in all the times of “failure in accomplishing something”, the environment which includes the humans, animals,plants, and even the non-living things will probably think of it as stupid and lame.

To counter this kind of occurrence, one must be able to perfect his guild and his memory. If a person is clouded with high imagination, self righteousness and pride, it is most likely to succumb in such a horrible state. Therefore, it is important to be true, to be sure, and to be justified.

I was able to meet Russel and Bruce last tuesday at majid’s kebab, rizal. Russel reminds me of my maternal greatgrandfather. He’s tall, skinny, and conservative. Like I have expected, he’s strict and conscious about the littlest details on music and copyright. Well, he was born in a time where modesty, discipline, and training is very rigid. Moreso, he was born in a time where classical music is still a fad. I am not saying that the “classic” of the classical music’s wearing off. I am only trying to say that the “thirst” for classical music is not as great as it was for the people who was born in Russel’s era. We’re already in the age where Rihanna, Ne-yo, 2NE1, and Buble’s music is considered as “the fad”. Although some teens and children now listen still listen to the classics, but generally, the teens don’t listen to it anymore.

Why the heck am I blabbing about this?

It’s because the meeting with Russel’s been rough. It was like I was quizzed-to-death in trying to answer all his questions. Gugh. I learned the words “compound rhythm” about thirteen years ago and in the same time I forgot about its exact definition. I felt very little after hearing all his theories, achievements, and such. I just saved my ass after the side drip conversations that Bruce made.

After the lunch at Majid’s, we went to Tata Benito’s for coffee and more of blog talks. The end.

Stop pretending because I know it’s you who slammed me with the “SLOW DOWN” road sign this morning. It was not the most pleasant thing I have experienced today, in fact, it hurt me. I know you know how terrible and horrible I felt before I went out for work today. Geez, you’ve got the nerve to give me that SOS kleenex, eh? Thanks for that, seriously. I never really thought you’d be doing the same thing again. For the record, today’s the 4th time you did it this year. Aren’t you going too far? It’s funny how you did it this time, anyway. You used a smaller road sign but with more weight on it…not to mention those HUGE CAPITAL LETTERS of S-L-O-W D-O-W-N. Thanks for spelling it out, at last, it hit me.

Now, I begin to wonder why of all dates, you chose the 22nd of this month? Do you really want me to reassess things that are going on around me every 22nd? Is this like some sort of reality check or “evaluation day” for me? Nah. It has already been 3 years, Lord. Use another date next time. Why? Because I am beginning to wonder if I am really a human or a bot. Oh. Sorry about that. ^___^ I know you love me. XOXO.

So today is another day of being miserable. I am not blaming you of anything that’s going on. Actually, I have to thank you again for this. It gave me time to think. It gave me time to yearn for silence and solitude. It gave me time to take a step back. It gave me time to slow down. Btw, thanks for Yvette. You gave me a friend who can put up with my rantings…and even with my suffocating prowess, I never felt being left behind by her. Thanks. Oh. Thanks for Tornee, too. She fed me with yummy Kimbaps last night. Yum! I am never hungry when I’m with her. Thanks for Jenai, too! She’s so random and un-boring. I hope she recovers from the state of being officially unhealthy. Thanks for all my friends. Please take care of them for me. Just remembering all of them makes me happy. Thanks for my family as well.

Wait. Why am I thanking you now when I am supposed to tell you how hurtful this day is for me? I was even planning to visit the nearby salon to get my hair cropped out again…but it never turned out the way I planned it. I was able to eat my delicious choco wich from Dunkin’ Donuts today and together with that, I swallowed all the hurtful things down. Thanks for Dunkin’ Donuts.

Tomorrow will be another day. I will try to not expect anything (good and bad) for tomorrow. I’m done with disappointing myself, and all. I know this blog reaches you. Your comments are very much appreciated—be it in any form (just don’t give me another spanking using a road sign—not until next month).

Sincerely,
kaix
GlenB

P.S.
I guess I am going to see you next Sunday.

Hirap akong magtagalog, pero susubukan ko ‘to sa abot ng aking makakaya sa pag-asang maipahayag ko ng buong-buo ang nilalaman ng nagliliyab kong puso.

Nami-miss na kita, alam mo ba ‘yon?

Minsan, kahit anu-ano na lang ang naiisip kong mga drama upang mapansin mo na naman ako. Siguro nga marami kang pinagkaka-abalahan ngayon kaya’t hindi na kita nahahagilap. Siguro nga’t nawawalan na rin ako ng panahong magpapansin sa’yo at magparamdam kaya’t ganito na ang nangyayari sa atin ngayon. Ang dami na talagang nagbago. ‘Di katulad noon na sabay tayong tumawa’t mangarap.

Nami-miss na kita, alam mo ba ‘yon?

Noong isang araw, nakita ko ulit ‘yong isang kahon na naglalaman ng kwento ng ating pagkakaibigan. Masarap bakilan ang mga alaalang ‘yon. Kahit may sarili tayong mundo nung high-school, masaya din naman tayo. Hinding-hindi ko ipagpapalit mga mga alaalang ‘yon sa mga bagay-bagay na maari nating ‘di nasubukan dahil sa nakabaon tayo sa sarili nating mundo. Sana’y ganoon rin ang nararamdaman mo. Hinding-hindi ko rin makakalimutan na sa lahat ng tao, ikaw lang yung nanatiling tapat, maunawain, at mapagmahal sa akin. Ang suwerte ko nga’t sa lahat ng mga tao sa high-school, ako pa ang napili mong barkadahin. Kung sabagay—masuwerte ka rin naman siguro sa akin. Ate’t Kuya in one nga ako, diba? Nang tingnan ko ang laman ng kahon na ‘yon, nakita ko ulit yung mga plastic wrappers ng Trolli Gummy Worms na kinakain natin nung 2ndYr. Nakita ko ulit ung mga greeting cards mo na halos walang personal na nakasulat dahil ayon sa’yo, lahat ng mga nakasulat sa pre-made na card na ‘yon ay tumpak sa mga gusto mong sabihin. Parang nasanay din naman ako sa ganon. Pero ang pinaka-hanep sa lahat ay ‘yong paisa-isang parte ng drawing mong pulang puso na ibinibigay mo sa akin simula Pebrero 1 nung 2nd yr din. Kada isang parte nun, may nakalagay na mga maliliit na mensahe na gusto mong sabihin sa akin. Nagagalit ka pa dahil sa hindi ako makapaghintay sa ika-14 ng Pebrero. Sino ba naman ang hindi mae-excite dun sa ginawa mo? Salamat. Wala na sigurong mas hihigit pang Valentine’s Day gift kesa dun. Puso mo na kasi ‘yun eh.

Nami-miss na kita, alam mo ba ‘yon?

Isang malaking concert yung sasalihan ko. Halos mawalan-walan ako ng tiwala sa sarili ko ng mga panahong ‘yon, pero andun ka… nagche-cheer sa akin—kahit sa text and call lamang. Pagbalik ko nun, binigyan mo ako ng greeting card na naman. This time, hindi na pre-made kundi gawa mo na. Natawa lang ako kasi halatang kinuha mo yung dinikit mong plastik na bulaklak dun sa plorera nyo sa bahay. Meron ka pang ginawang kwintas para sa akin nun na gawa sa token dun sa arcade sa Gaisano Mall na kung tawagin ay Sonic Boom. Ang Sonic Boom ay ang lugar kung saan tayo natutong mag-drive. Adik na adik tayo dun sa Daytona car racing—pero, mas magaling ka. Dun din sa Sonic Boom, may binasted kang manliligaw mo. Dali-dali mo syang binasted kasi ayaw mong tumagal pa ang usapan nyo at inis na inis ka na sa kanya. Andun ako sa tabi mo noon at natatawa nung kausap mo ang mokong na ‘yon. Sinabi mo pa nga na may pupuntahan tayong party kaya’t nagmamadali ka. Iyon pala, sa bilyaran lang pala tayo papunta.

Nami-miss na kita, alam mo ba ‘yon?

Nung nasa kolehiyo na tayo, ipinagtanggol mo ako sa nanay ng isang kaibigan ko dahil sa isang weird na pangyayari. Umiiyak ako nun sa food court at tinawagan mong bigla ung nanay nung ’sang kaibigan ko at sinabing hindi ako pervert katulad ng inakaala nya. Wala naman talaga akong kasalanan dun. May nag-hack lang ng chikka account ko kaya’t may na-send na mga mensaheng hindi kanais-nais. Para kang nanay ko nun dahil sa pagkampi mo sa akin. Noong nakalipas na taon din, andun ka para suportahan ako. Dahil sa hindi na kasi tayo gaanong nagkikita, napupunta ako sa mga kamay ng mga kaibigang hindi katulad mo. Kinampihan mo na naman ulit ako. Mabuti nalang at napigilan kitang awayin ‘yong taong ‘yon. Kahit pala hindi na tayo gaanong nagkikita, kakampi pa rin kita. Ngayon kaya? Magkakampi pa rin ba tayo?

Nami-miss na kita, alam mo ba ‘yon?

Oo nga’t masaya ako ngayon. Alam ko rin namang masaya ka rin…patas lang… pero sana.. hindi tayo mabilog ng mga indibidwal nating kasiyahan at pinagkakaalbalahan at kalimutan natin ang isa’t-isa. Limang araw nalang, baka magkita tayo sa F. Torres.. Reunion daw kasi.. ‘di ko rin alam kong pupunta ka.. Pero kung pupunta ka.. sana, tayo ‘yong magkatabi’t nagtatawanan na parang walang nangyari. Sabik na kasi akong ipagmalaki sa’yo ang bago kong crush. Sana kapag nagkita tayo, agad mong sasabihing “halika, tabihan mo ako”..Sana.. Pero kahit ano man ang mangyari… tatabihan kita sa ayaw’t gusto mo, kasi…

Nami-miss na kita, alam mo ba ‘yon?